Star Falling (City of Hope Book 2) Page 3

  There was no word in his language for the abstract concept of love. Love was a fickle and fleeting emotion, undefined and ever changing. What he felt for Star went much deeper, coiling and weaving through his very core, until it had become as much a part of him as his beating heart. The light within him glowed only for her, and it would never fade, never flicker. He’d never desire another, not even if he wanted. It was the way of his people, the hallmark of a mated male, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

  He hadn’t meant for it to happen, hadn’t intended to sink so far, but it was too late now.

  “Why do you fight me?” He didn’t expect an answer, but he had to ask. “Why do you push me away?”

  Tilting her head back, Star stared at him through narrowed eyes. “I don’t.”

  “You do.” He moved toward her, sighing when she retreated from him. “I know you feel something for me. I can hear your heart pounding right now.”

  “So what if I do?” she shot back. “What does it matter?”

  Her answer made no sense to him. “It matters, and you know it.”

  “Why?” Even as the word left her mouth, she shook her head and waved a shaking hand at him. “You know what? Never mind. Don’t answer that. Look, I’ll make this simple, okay?” Her eyes widened, and her nostrils flared as if her next words caused her physical pain. “I’m not interested in being just another notch on your bedpost.”

  Most human slang was lost on him, but he was able to piece enough together to understand her meaning. “Oh, ahna, is that what you think?”

  Her head jerked up, and she glared at him again. “Where were you all week?”

  Valen rubbed the clenched muscles at the back of his neck, his heart aching at the pain etched in her beautiful eyes. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  She wasn’t ready, not yet, and if he confided in her, she’d only think he was trying to manipulate her into bed. It hurt to know she thought so little of him, but on the other hand, he knew full well the reputation that followed him throughout the city.

  Star glared at him, spine stiff, arms folded defensively over her breasts. “Try me.”

  In response, Valen held out his hand. “Come with me.”

  “What? No.” She took a deliberate step back and shook her head. “Just tell me where you were.”

  He hadn’t anticipated that she’d feel his absence so keenly, but nor did he know what to make it of it. “It’s better if I show you.”

  Star sighed. She didn’t know what that meant, but she imagined it couldn’t be anything good. “I have things to do here. I can’t just leave.”

  “They’ll hold until we return.” Again, he held his hand out to her. “Please, will you come with me?”

  His request was tight, strained, as if he’d never uttered the words before, and Star imagined he hadn’t. As captain, he issued orders, and he expected those orders to be obeyed without question or hesitation. Asking for what he wanted didn’t come easily, and she appreciated how difficult it must be for him.

  “Okay,” she relented. He was trying. The least she could do was hear him out, even if it wouldn’t change anything. “I can’t be gone long, though.”

  Valen bowed his head. “As you wish.”

  Before she could change her mind, he grabbed her hand and led her out of the laundry room, through the long, curving corridor, right to the guards’ elevator. After he’d ushered her inside, he swiped his badge over the scanner, waited for the light to blink, indicating his credentials had been accepted, then pressed his thumb to the second, circular button.

  As the lift began to rise, he leaned back against the wall, crossed his arms, and stared straight ahead. He didn’t speak, didn’t look at her, and she had to watch his chest carefully to make sure he was breathing. Usually, she couldn’t shut him up, and his sudden silence made her nervous.

  “Valen?”

  “Yes?”

  Clearly, he’d exhausted his limit for vocal conversation.

  “Um, why are we going to the officers’ quarters?”

  “We’re going to my quarters,” he corrected.

  Okay. That still didn’t answer her question, but from his tone, she guessed she wouldn’t get any more out of him.

  Arms held taut at her sides, she clenched and unfurled her fingers over and over, trying to rid her body of the excess energy. In all the time she’d known Valen, she’d never been uneasy around him, but his tense posture and brooding glare made her heart pound and her stomach roll uncomfortably.

  He shifted his weight, first left, then to the right. His lips pressed together in a tight line, and the cords in his neck strained and bulged each time he swallowed. Measuring his reactions against her own, it abruptly dawned on her that she’d read the situation entirely wrong.

  Valen wasn’t angry with her. He was scared. Or at the very least, he was apprehensive. About what, she couldn’t guess, but his vulnerability touched her in a way all his charm and flirtations never could. Whatever he wanted to show her, he worried about her response. Maybe that should have frightened her, but it didn’t. On the contrary, she found it oddly endearing.

  The digital display panel over the sliding door counted down to Level 3. The lift slowed, coming to a stop with a slight bounce before the door opened with a mechanical whir. The corridor beyond was not unlike any other hallway in the city—white lights gleaming off white metal and reflected in a white, tiled floor. The only difference was the doors set into the curved walls every twenty feet or so.

  Valen still didn’t speak, and he didn’t touch her. Hell, he didn’t even glance in her direction before marching out of the elevator. Passing the white doors with opaque portholes, he led her through the curve of the corridor before coming to such an immediate stop Star almost collided with his broad back. Peeking around his arm, she realized he hadn’t been the only thing to stop—the corridor had as well.

  The only way forward was through another white door, this one slightly taller and wider than the others. The muscles in Valen’s shoulders strained, and tension practically bled from his pores as he pressed his thumb to the scanner nestled into a small recess in the wall. When the door slid open without a sound, he angled to the side and bowed his head, motioning her ahead of him.

  Unsure of how to respond, Star nodded. She didn’t know what she’d expected, but stepping into his quarters was…surreal. Lights flickered to life one by one, following her progress into the room and illuminating the various pieces of artwork on the walls.

  “This is your room?”

  There was no white to be found anywhere in the captain’s quarters. Even the walls had been repainted to a deep, dark blue that contrasted perfectly with the sand-colored carpet. Like a little girl on Christmas morning, Star giggled as she curled her toes through the soft fibers, loving the texture against her skin.

  Wild and vivid, abstract masterpieces painted in every shade of the rainbow hung around the room, the bright, bold lines evoking an array of emotions within her. She didn’t know where to look first, and the more she tried to take in, the harder it became to breathe.

  “I love it.” She didn’t know why he’d brought her there, but it didn’t matter. Right then, nothing else mattered.

  Standing in the center of his living area, Star felt the warmth of his body against her back before he ever touched her. Anticipation raised the hair along her arms, and the whisper of his breath across the side of her neck made her shiver.

  Valen shuffled closer, his head bent next to her ear, but still, he didn’t touch her. “Look up, ahna.”

  Tilting her head back, Star wrinkled her brow, her lips pulling downward at the corners. It took several seconds for her to understand what she was seeing. The ceiling high above her had been painted a deep, dark blue with shades of silver swirled throughout to create a haunting mural of the night sky that made her breath catch and her heart ache.

  She turned one way, then the other, laughing with unadulterated joy. Thous
ands of tiny, clear stones had been scattered throughout the blue, each one gleaming in the recessed lighting so that they sparkled like stars. It was the most beautiful, wonderful thing she’d ever seen, and tears welled along her lower lashes as her longing intensified.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she admitted.

  “Say you like it,” Valen answered quietly as he ran his hands up and down her arms. “Tell me it brings you happiness.”

  Star nodded. Stopped. Shook her head. “I don’t understand.” Turning to face him, she cocked her head to the side and studied him for several, long moments. “You did all of this…for me?”

  Valen didn’t answer right away, but his hands settled on her hips, urging her closer. “And now you know.”

  “Know what?” Her heart pounded, and her legs began to tremble.

  “That there’s nothing in the universe I wouldn’t do for you.” Bending, he skimmed his nose along the column of her throat and growled. “My ahna. My heart. My mate.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  The minutes ticked by, one fading into the next, and just when Valen thought she wouldn’t respond, Star threw her arms around his neck and squeezed until the breath rushed from his lungs. Her shoulders shook with sobs as she buried her face against the side of his throat, and when he lifted her into his arms, she latched onto him even tighter.

  Of all the reactions he’d expected, this hadn’t been one of them.

  Carrying her to the plush, beige sofa positioned in front of the video monitor, he settled down on the cushions as he stroked her hair. “Oh, ahna. It wasn’t my intention to upset you.”

  “I’m not upset,” she sniffled, sitting up to face him. Tears trekked down her cheeks, and her smooth, creamy skin was flushed with pink. “I’m sorry.” She wiped her eyes roughly and huffed. “I swear I’m not usually so emotional.”

  Carefully, as if she was made of the finest crystal, Valen brushed the hair back from her face and pressed his lips to her brow. “There is no reason to apologize. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

  “You did all of this for me.” Tears gathered in her eyes once more as she looked around the room. “It’s perfect.”

  He was pleased to hear it, but he still didn’t understand. “Then, why are you crying?”

  Star hiccupped adorably as she fell against his chest. “Because I’m happy.”

  Human females were very odd. “That makes no sense.”

  He didn’t have much experience with tears. Most of the females he knew from his own race were warriors, and on the rare occasion they succumbed to emotional outbursts, someone usually ended up bloody. He had no context for Star’s tears, no precedence he could draw on to help him navigate this storm.

  So, he did the only thing he could. He took her face as gently as possible, cradling it between his hands, and kissed her.

  Which only made her cry harder.

  Admitting defeat, he slumped back on the sofa and just held her. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what he’d done wrong, but it seemed like a good place to start. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”

  “Don’t.” Sitting up in his lap, her thighs straddling his hips, she used the sleeve of her blouse to swipe at her face. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

  She had nothing to be sorry for, but they’d get to that. “Let’s start with something easier.” Sliding his fingers through her hair, he cupped the side of her face, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear she’d missed. “Why are you crying?”

  “I’m…overwhelmed.” She looked up at the ceiling, and her lips parted in a dazzling smile. “You did all of this for me, and after I’ve been so awful to you.”

  The more she spoke, the more confused he became. “Explain.” Realizing that in his frustration his request had come as more of a command, he tacked on, “Please.”

  Instead of elaborating, she asked a question of her own. “Do you bring other females to your quarters?”

  “Never.”

  She nodded as if confirming something to herself, then waved a hand to encompass the entirety of the room. “When did you do all of this?”

  “Recently,” he hedged.

  “That’s why you were gone all week.” She waved her hand around again. “This is what you were doing?”

  Valen held her gaze but didn’t move, didn’t speak.

  “What if I had said no? What if I had refused to come with you tonight?”

  “I would have waited until you were ready.” Finally, he began to understand where the conversation was headed, and the relief made him grin. “Even if you refuse me a hundred times, I’ll still wait.” Wrapping her golden hair around his hand, he urged her forward to claim her lips. “I want you. Only you.” He kissed her again. “Always you.”

  “I want you, too,” she admitted, her voice quiet, weak. “I always have, but I didn’t want to want you. Does that make sense?”

  Not in the slightest. “Continue.”

  “I saw how you were with other women. You’d flirt for a few days, then I’d never see you with them again, so I knew.”

  He was afraid to ask, but fear had never stopped him before. “Knew what?”

  “You’d charm them into bed, then move on to the next.” Her eyes narrowed. “Tell me I’m wrong,” she challenged.

  He could tell her that, but it would be a lie. He hadn’t cared about any of those females, nor had he ever made them any promises. Perhaps a few had thought they could change his mind, but he’d been upfront with each of them about what he wanted.

  Sex. A mutual, physical release. No commitment. No repeat performance.

  “You’re not wrong.”

  Star sighed and lowered her eyes as she plucked at the fabric of his black T-shirt. “At first, it didn’t matter. I mean, I’ve got nothing against casual sex between consenting adults. It’s not like I’ve been celibate since I came here.”

  Valen growled, the sound echoing throughout the room. He had no right to his jealousy, but the thought of another male touching her, kissing her, hearing her sweet sighs of passion made him see red.

  A coy smile curved her lips, but she didn’t comment on his outburst. “All I’m trying to say is that I didn’t care at first. Then…”

  When she trailed off and ducked her head, he gripped her chin gently and lifted her face so he could see into her eyes. “You can tell me anything, ahna.”

  “Then,” she breathed, “I cared too much. I liked you too much.”

  “I’m not proud of my past.” But nor was he ashamed. It simply…was. “I can’t change it, but I can promise you that I don’t want any other female.” He caressed the side of her neck, cupping his hands around the delicate column. “I want you, Star Donavan. Only you.” Galaxies, he was a sap, a complete and utter fool, but he needed to hear her say it. “Only like?”

  “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Curling her fingers around his wrist, she stared back him with a mixture of wonder and apprehension. “I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.”

  Grinning wide enough to show his fangs, Valen dipped his head, capturing her lips in a kiss that stole his breath. “I am honored by this happy accident.” Then aloud, “I love you, my beautiful ahna.”

  The sentiment felt foreign, awkward, insufficient. What he felt for her went so much deeper, beyond anything worthy of words. Aleucians mated for life, and the bond was unwavering, inflexible. He’d never desire another, for no other female existed to him now. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, nothing he wouldn’t give her. He’d kill to protect her, and sacrifice anything to make her happy.

  Once he claimed her, bonded them, he would be hers to command forevermore. His heart, his body, his soul, they would yield to her will, bend at her mercy.

  “You look like you swallowed a bug,” Star said, interrupting his thoughts. “You don’t like that word, do you? Love?” Her smile brightened the entire room as she leaned forward to brushed their lips together again. “It’s okay, Valen. Yo
u don’t have to say it.”

  But she wasn’t of his world. She needed to hear the words. He needed her to hear them, to feel them, to know she was cherished and treasured.

  “I love you,” he whispered. He kissed her soundly, rolling her to the side and pressing her back into the cushions as he loomed over her. “I love you.” Stronger this time. “I love you.” Each time he repeated the phrase, it came a little easier, felt less remote. “I love you.”

  Her feminine giggle made his heart pound and his cock swell inside his leathers. Gods, she was beautiful, so full of life and happiness. He never wanted to see her sad again, and he’d destroy anyone who darkened the light that shined within her.

  “Be mine,” he said quietly into her mind as he bent to nuzzle the fragrant skin of her neck. “Say you’ll be mine. Tell me.” The thought of sinking his fangs into her skin, marking her for everyone to see, made his head spin and his eyes cross. He wanted that. Needed it. “Say yes. Say yes, Star.”

  Her reply was breathless, faint, but music to his ears.

  “Yes.”

  He needed her with something akin to pain. His skin burned, his cock swelled and pulsed, his chest tightened, making it difficult to pull air into his aching lungs. Every fiber of his being called out for him to shred her clothing, bare her to his gaze, and burying himself into her welcoming heat. He’d take her right there on the sofa, or the floor, ravish her like the beast that he was until they were both limp and shaking.

  Holy solar flare, he wanted her, but not like that, not this time.

  Star stiffened when Valen pulled away and stood, turning his back to her. The joy she’d felt just a moment before vanished, replaced by confusion and uncertainty. The Aleucian’s might not have a word for love, but she had no context for it. Other than what she’d seen in movies and heard in songs, she had no experience with the concept. Which was probably why it had taken her so long to realize she’d gone and fallen for the sexy captain.